San Francisco Sentinel
November 16, 1989
‘Fish on Thursday’
By Doris Fish
Last month everything happened on Tuesdays. This month it’s Thursdays. And this Thursday its “The Doghouse” on channel 25 at 9pm. We’re the guest “dogs” on the show! How curious that I should be so thrilled to be on television again, especially after my questionable tv experiences, but the taping went well, and we were treated with respect by the sweet, dedicated and professional crew. Tippi, Miss X, Phillip R. Ford and myself were only moderately embarrassed to be portraying 14-year-olds go-going on “Hullabaloo” in 1967. I couldn’t help laughing and having a good time, even though Miss X cautioned us that “even smiling was uncool”. And this is a really “cool” show with local poet Dave “Dog” Swan and his co-hostess, the eristic Erin (look it up, I had to). Be sure to tune in. I just hope there aren’t too many cruel closeups! (Of Miss X, I mean!)
Also on Thursday, you may see me in person earlier in the evening at the Macrobiotic Buffet at Marty’s Natural Foods restaurant on National Street from 6 p.m. I’ll be there as a private citizen enjoying Gary Alinder’s superior supper. Master Macro chef Gary will also be cooking an unforgettable and “festive feast that even a turkey could love” on Thanksgiving. A wonderful array of traditional treats including cornbread, cranberries, succulent veggies and a truly scrumptious pumpkin pie will please all palates. Afternoon and evening sittings are planned, so if you don’t wish to participate in the murder of a poor innocent turkey, call Marty’s at 621-0751.
I don’t mean to accuse you meat-eaters of cold-blooded murder. I’m not quite perfect enough myself to point the finger at others, but as I discover more about the animals, “our little brothers on the planet”, the more I’m convinced that their right to life and liberty is as valid as our own. If the consumption of animal flesh and excretions were necessary for one’s health, I would still wish for humane treatment, but as every piece of medical research indicates the opposite, doesn’t it make sense to become a vegetarian? Anyway, the poor turkeys don’t want to be eaten, they’ve probably got other plans. And as a friend said at a restaurant the other night, “Yes, that’s very sad about the poor animals, Doris. Waitress, I’ll have the veal, please.” She actually ordered the spanakopita, but I got the point. Sorry about the lecture; enjoy your turkey.
Speaking of turkeys (and I meant that kindly), a new Drag act has captured the hearts of audience members in our city. Called “Acid Housewife”, these three modern “wives” were a sensation at the Castro Street Fair this year and won first prize at the I-Beam’s Open Mike Night. (Who is this “Open Mike” fellow?). They will be performing at the ‘Beam again on Tuesday, November 21 for the Earthquake Relief Night. It’s free, though donations are requested. These ones are actually “real” musicians! They describe their work as “wacky spoofs of rock and disco’s biggest hits”. Go along and see what you call it.
And now for some international bitch gossip. My dear friend, actress Jacqueline Hyde, recently attended Princess Di’s brother’s wedding in England and writes, “Di looked at me (well, you would!) I looked like the co-respondente (sic) in a dentist’s 194? Divorce proceedings. The bride said ‘Jackie, if I wasn’t wearing this, (hand-made gold lace trimmed with mink and the ‘Spencer Tiara’) I’d have worn ocelot, too!’
“I helped myself to their 2nd rate champagne and quickly became loud and vulgar in the Royal presences. People dropped their voices to catch every word and were well rewarded with a gamut of topics ranging from Rape of English aristocratic youth by Arabs in French prisons, to the tastelessness of the passementerie in the very room we were in! I was with [a high-ranking director of a chi-chi U.S. magazine, who shall remain nameless -D.] and he told me he was once kicked out of a hired limousine on a freeway by his chauffeur who told him, ‘I can’t stand hearing your disgusting faggy voice a minute longer. Get out!’ And how he was stranded for hours, etc.
“The little heirs to the British throne were all ears and how our voices carried!”
Well, I can’t beat that for dish! Thought I should share it with the world. It made me laugh out loud. ‘Bye for now and thank you for all the cards and letters.
