San Francisco Sentinel
November 2, 1989
City Beat
Oh, You Stunning Queens!
By Doris Fish
You were all stunning! I mean it, Saturday night on Castro was as lovely as ever. And thanks to the Police persons for being there. I saw no trouble during my twenty-minute promenade and hope that none of you had anything but a delightful stroll on a fine Saturday night. Top marks to Miss Viva La Femme and her sisters, Juliana and Stacey, for hairdos that were as “dangerous” as any weapon. I hope those ‘dos weren’t confiscated by our diligent lawmen! And did you see those statuesque visions in those sequined ‘forties “Alice in Wonderland” Black-Queen-chess-piece gowns? I felt like such a frump! But then I was dressed for Miss X’s Birthday party.
I wasn’t really intending to go out among you regular folk, but only to have a nice quiet evening with my friends at the Blue Lamp Lounge, for which I was very appropriately attired. I was in a sensible homemade hot pink miniskirt, an original Oleg Cassini psychedelic silk blouse (Oleg did all Jackie’s frocks for the Big House — I mean the White House), a pumpkin-colored theatrical hairpiece and my favorite day-glo slime green fun-fur Barbie coat. And Miss X looked nice, too. The Birthday Girl entertained her guests with a couple of old favorites, including a “new” version of “You’re the Tops”. And speaking of old favorites, Tippi and Carmela Carlyle really stole the show as they danced rings around a very daring and dapper Phillip R. Ford, who premiered his soon-to-be-a-classic Lounge Act called “Fool’s Paradise.” His next gig may be on Mars as this act was a little too avant-garde for the sophisticated San Francisco theatre crowd.
Unfortunately, I left before the Popstitutes did their “thing”, which I hear from a reliable source, was “brilliant” and I love them, even though I forgot to mention them last week and they bad-mouthed me all over town. Sorry! Anyway, we left before they went on, because my friend Elizabeth Trailer had other plans and car keys. As we inched our way out, we rubbed body parts with the star-studded audience including a truly authentic-looking Gwyn Waters impersonator who turned out to be Miss Waters herself (she’s the less notorious sister of Jennifer Blowdryer, the author and performance artist). I suspect she was there to claim the prize in the “Gwyn Waters Look-A-Like” category of the costume contest, but unfortunately, she lost out again to a young man from Fremont who was obviously an even better friend of the judges. Other celebrities were milling on the sidewalk, including actress Silvana Nova who is currently penning a sensational sequel to “Sunset Boulevard”, tentatively titled “The Trial of Norma Desmond”. It will be a black and white stage production, under the command of film-maker Marc Huestis, no doubt starring the popular Miss Nova, though Miss X is now old enough (and has been for a few weeks) to portray the aging silent screen star. I of course was not considered for the role as I’m much too young and blonde. I will play the young Lana Turner, whose testimony is sure to be damning.
We could have made the rent three times over as we walked to the car, but I wouldn’t want to take away business from those who really need it. So off we sped to see the sights of Castro Street. And the sights were there! Everybody’s faves, apart from the lovely La Femme sisters, were the incredible… Reems! They took the street by storm with fabulous “live” performances of A and Hibernian Beach! We all had a free show, and this was the best theatre bargain of the season! Tune in here next week for more super dish on the delightful damsels.
A big sloppy wet kiss to all of those who were gracious enough (and …. enough) to extend to me your best wishes and warm greetings on one of the rare occasions the earthquake news didn’t upstage us all. And don’t hesitate to drop us a line. Ciao for now!
